So for my whole life I've been a member of the Lonely Hearts Club (not an actual club, reference to Marina and the Diamonds song Lonely Hearts Club). I have never had a boyfriend and guys that show some interest in me always just stop talking to me without no explanation or never try to get to know more about me. It kinda sucks. Even though I've never been in a relationship I have had my heart broken before and I think its one of the saddest heartbreak someone can go through. Loving someone so much and them not love you back feels quite terrible. I fell in love with this boy that was hilarious and any little thing he did or said would put the biggest smile on my face. We lived very close by each other so after school we would walk home together with a group of friends and little by little our friends would reach their homes and it would end up being only us two. We would talk about our day, music and just random things and then he would tell me about girls he thought were very pretty. Like any kid I would look forward towards the end of school but not because I didn't like school, but because I would get to hang out with him and I didn't care so much about him talking about the pretty girls because we would go back to talking about random things, but then the walks began to feel painful when he met a girl at his church. He wouldn't stop talking about her and I just walked besides him listening to every single word. They eventually got together and that did hurt me because I liked him so much and he was with someone else, but it was still bearable. They went out for a while and then broke up, I'm not going to lie I was glad they broke up because I got my friend back and things went back to normal and silly me thought it might be my turn for him to like me but that would never happen. In the group we would walk home with my best friend was one of us, I had known that she had a little crush on him because one of our friends would teaser her about it but I was never certain if it was true or if our friend was just being mean, it turned out to be true. One day all of a sudden he started asking about her and if I thought he had a chance with her, I though this was very strange and started to worry something would happen. I found out they hooked up by my best friend which had no clue how in love I was with him. My heart was shattered and as soon as I said good bye to him and continued to walk home I broke down. I got home with my face covered in tears and cried on my moms lap for a very very long time. I tried to get over him but I couldn't, I finally did because he changed, he turned into such a douchebag and that wasn't the person I had fallen in love with. He has been the only person I have ever had strong feelings for and the only person that has hurt me the most. No one has actually ever wanted me and yes it does hurt a lot but can't do nothing about it, I guess I'll be spending the rest of my life in the Lonely Hearts Club.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Sunday, February 17, 2013
To start off my blog I would like to properly introduce myself. I am 19 years old from Whittier, CA. I am a college student attending Cal Poly Pomona majoring in Communications- Journalism and minoring in Fashion Merchandise. I'm living away from home because I really wanted the whole college experience and to become more independent. Fashion, art, photography, and music are some of my top interest. I have no clue what I want to be when I finish school, all I now it that I want to work in the Fashion Industry. I guess you can say I have very strong emotions my zodiac sign is a Cancer so go figure. I don't know what else, I guess you can continue knowing me as my blog goes on.